Posts tagged ‘TV’

Top Chef is Getting Ugly

from SelfAbsorbed.me…

Spoiler Alert! – If for some reason you DVR’d the first three episodes of Top Chef New York and still haven’t found time to watch them, and have somehow been able to avoid the endless, 24/7, marathon of re-runs on Bravo, you may want to wait til after you’ve savored the deliciousness of America’s bitchiest cooking show before continuing with this post.

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November 30, 2008 at 12:30 pm Leave a comment

Skins, Like, Totally Rulez!!1!

This post is way overdue, and the only reason I finally got a fire behind my ass to write it is because I saw a mention of Skins in New York Magazine, and I feared that if I didn’t publicly declare my love affair with Britain’s best teen show before it became really mainstream and everyone recognized it for how awesome it was, I would look like some kind of pathetic hanger-on/Jonas Brother-loving teenybopper who is just another jerk trying to act like they knew about something before it was cool, when in fact, they only learned about it after reading New York Magazine. This is not the case. Me and the Googly Cru have been into Skins since it’s first, original premiere in February 2007 which we watched forrealsies while we were in Dublin. (Eat it, thirteen-year olds.) Not only was Skins a fucking great original show among a sea of Scrubs re-runs and crappy English soaps, but it was a reason for us all to come together and act like high schoolers in a foreign nation, so far from home.

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September 25, 2008 at 5:55 pm 5 comments

It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia

I don’t normally do multiple skeets, but these dudes are just so deliciously intertwined I can’t help but go overboard, thrice. I’d say that’s 9 skeets in all. Though in my book, they’re all 10s. 

Sweet Dees pretty hot, too.

Deandra's pretty hot, too.

Imagine a TV show where the main characters are complete and utter assholes, whom you have no sympathy for…

Except that they’re totally, unquestionably, and sinfully BANGIN’.

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September 18, 2008 at 11:52 pm Leave a comment

Obsession: Roswell

Roswell, New Mexico. Among the teen angst of the students of West Roswell High, the social pressures and pot smoking, the immature sex and study periods, there lies an altogether new breed of issues… adolescent aliens.

Abandoned after the legendary crash of 1947 (which, for those of you not in the know, is a real event. Whether it’s extraterrestrial has yet to be decided), aliens Max , Isabel, and Michael stumble out of their busted space ship in the form of 6 year old humans. Living in Roswell with adoptive parents, the 3 have managed to keep a low-key existence until Max saves the life of fellow high schooler, Liz Parker (Shiri Appleby), using his other-worldly powers. Forced to explain the event, the three begin to confide in Liz and her friends while dodging suspicions of the local sheriff and the witnesses of the miraculous feat.

The best part about this show isn’t the plot, or how engrossing the story line may be. Right off the bat, the single-handed most addictive quality is the fact that Roswell employs all of the achingly drawn out tactics of pre-reality era television. Every possible feeling the alien threesome may have for their fellow humans is deliciously (if painfully), strung along until every avenue is explored, unlike the fast paced, tactless television of today’s ADD audiences.

Jason Behr’s classicly handsome physique is perfectly cast as he plays the brooding and authoratative Max Evans. In love with Liz Parker, the two have an on again, off again relationship that makes the screen sizzle with cross-cosmic crushing.

Oh, I’m sorry, your native alien race is in danger of being found out by the FBI?

Hold me.

Im just removing this bullet, I swear

"I'm just removing this bullet, I swear"

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August 3, 2008 at 12:33 pm 5 comments

SECRET DIARY OF A CALL GIRL: Like a Good Hand That Keeps Being Poorly Played

After watching the first five episodes of Showtime’s newest series, Secret Diary of a Call Girl (courtesy of sidereel.com), I can’t help but feel frustrated. Meant to be a sort of pacifier for Sex and The City fans, the show’s elements fall flat, never getting the interest of the viewer piqued enough to sympathize for the main character, Belle du Jour (Billie Piper) or relate to her exotic life-style.

Billie Piper

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June 18, 2008 at 4:21 pm 7 comments

Things to Do This Friday Since the Sex & The City Premiere is Sold Out

OMG! So you totally wanted to go see your favorite whoresome foursome, Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and that brunette who is just dying for a baby, vamp around Manhattan and have careless sex with fabulous hats on, but the premiere is sold out! What’s a girl to do! Well, here are some suggestions of activities that might make you feel better about not having someone else’s sex life to talk about with your gal pals on Saturday morning:

– Vamp around Manhattan and have careless sex with a fabulous hat on

– Buy hundreds of pairs of shoes

– Disrespect the valet, or any other lowly service employee

– Paint your Pomeranian’s toenails the same color as your vagina

– Start therapy

– Come up with cute nicknames for your private parts in the vein of The Papaya, Snugglepuss, Mrs. Jones, or The Great White Nightmare

– Get your fix of bitchy women by watching re-run marathons of “The Real Housewives of New York City” on Bravo and hanging out at Urban Outfitters

– Have sex with the valet, or any other lowly service employee

– Sort out your drawer of thongs and fishnets

– Begin research to explain why ugly girls are so mean to you

And if all else fails, you can watch hundreds of hours of Sex and the City on DVD. Don’t get too down girls, you can always go see the movie on Saturday night. Unless of course it’s out of fashion by then.

May 28, 2008 at 7:58 pm 5 comments


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