Posts tagged ‘New York’

The Worst Thing That Ever Happened

Before you assume that title is mere hyperbole, hear me out.  And be warned that the story involves one of these:toilet

This is not for the faint of heart. (more…)

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April 27, 2009 at 6:32 pm 13 comments

How to: Be White in Un-Gentrified Neighborhoods

Alright people, I know this comment may come off as racist, classist, discriminatory, etc. If you have a problem with the guidelines I’m gonna lay down for these reasons, then suck my big black dick.¬†


subway1
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December 3, 2008 at 2:36 am 13 comments

BUST Magazine 15th Anniversary Party

I was there, and you were not. And frankly, this makes me a little sad.

But anyway, I went to this event at Spiegelworld on Tuesday night, so pardon the late reporting. I had to ask myself, if it’s “old news” can it even be news at all? And myself didn’t have an answer, so I’m posting about it ¬†regardless. This event had a lot of potential, but let me down in several ways:

1) It was not sold out.
This would be good thing, except for the fact that every website and ticket sales outlet affiliated with it said that it was, indeed, sold out. It’s hard to get tickets to an event when everyone and their mother says there aren’t any and the vendor refuses to sell them to you. I ended up going with my boyfriend (God bless him), though this event would’ve been more fun with gal pals or gay friends who weren’t able to come because they thought it was sold out.

2) They didn’t give me a gift bag.
This event advertised free gift bags to the first 500 attendees. I arrived at around 9pm and there were definitely not 500 people there when I showed up, though they said they were all out of gift bags. This made me extremely sad, because they looked like really good gift bags with books and stuff in them. I hold Bust magazine in the highest esteem and would trust them to put great things in a gift bag.

3) Free cupcakes were the size of my thumbnail.
And you only got one, and they were vegan. Hmmm needs more gluten.

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August 15, 2008 at 5:12 pm 1 comment

Summer is EXPENSIVE

So it seems like summer should be a care-free time to lay in the sun, hit amusement parks, and swim at the beach. Or that’s how I remember it, as a kid with nothing to do during that break from school and no financial worries or responsibilities (or even knowledge of what the word “financial” meant.) But now we’re all grown up, and “summer = freedom” does not compute, because summer is expensive as shit, and here are some reasons why.

1) Air conditioning. Yeah, energy prices are up, up, up, but I’m not going to talk about this or dwell on it because it’s as boring as it is depressing. And there’s not a damn thing we can do about it, unless you want to sit in your apartment with a palm leaf, fanning yourself and still sweating like a pig. I’m dreading my Con Ed bill like that pelvic exam I still have not scheduled.

2) Laundry. Washing clothes in Manhattan ain’t cheap, since almost no one has their own washer and dryer (shut up Olivia.) It’s hot as hell outside, and that means, more sweating. And I may be broke, but not broke enough to walk around smelling like a stanky pit. I refuse to wear a shirt more than once after I’ve sweated in it, that’s just a rule. Pit stains are never in fashion, right Carrie and Miranda?!

3) Waxing/Shaving. Summer’s warm weather means more skin ladies, and shaving a lot more often than we did in winter (costly because you have to buy shaving gel/cream, and blades, which are kind of expensive). And this is the time of year to say hello to waxing, anything and everything, that might ever possibly become visible in a bikini. Adventurous gals may also be dropping cash on some exciting Betty pube dye. (Almost as scary as that Con Ed bill.)

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June 13, 2008 at 3:29 pm 4 comments


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