Posts tagged ‘American Apparel’

Lesson: When To Walk Away From A Conversation

I work at a bookstore, and about four times a month we’ll have authors coming in to do signings. This week, it was a pretty well-known photographer, whom I don’t really care for. His work tends to look like it either came from some hipster-worshipping photo site like Last Night’s Party [NSFW], or like an American Apparel ad with 80% more naked breasts and vomit. So it probably goes without saying that while getting ready for the event, my coworkers and I had a lot of fun flipping through his book and making snide comments.

One of the cashier’s from the main floor had drifted upstairs to our department, and was emphatically voicing her opinions. “I hate this guy! Oh my god. He’s such a douchebag. Oh my god. He’s such a douchebag.” None of us could really add to that, so we kind of nodded awkwardly. “He does seem pretty misogynistic,” I said. She blinked at me.

“Oh, misogyny doesn’t bother me.” Ooooh, edgy! “But in this interview he was like, ‘I am the most prolific photographer of all time,’ can you believe that? He’s not even good! How can he say that when his pictures are so shitty?!”

A co-worker and I exchange glances. I interject. “Well, he’s not saying he’s GOOD, he’s just saying he takes a lot of photos.”

She begins to backpedal. “Yeah, okay, but he said he was the most prolific of his generation. He’s only 45! How can he be the most prolific of his generation if he’s only 45?!”

And that, friends, is when one walks away.


July 16, 2008 at 7:53 pm 3 comments

American Apparel Makes Me Barf

Can we please talk about this?

Every week or so, I delightedly check the free periodical boxes around town for a new issue of L Magazine. It keeps me in the know, I like to do the crossword, and it provides me with some reading material for occasions when I’m made to wait and don’t want to stare at the person sitting across from me at Planned Parenthood. Wait, I mean…


July 4, 2008 at 5:06 pm 12 comments

Shorts Gone Wrong

Shorts are back, baby! Now that thanks to global warming, it’s a cool 350 degrees in Manhattan, shorts are back, if only for survival reasons. But these are not the shorts you used to know and love, classic denim or khaki. These are shorts from another planet or era; shorts gone wrong. They’re plaid, striped and polka dotted, gingham and terry. I’m sorry if you like these. Sorry because you must be blind or completely devoid of any taste whatsoever, because these things are hideous.

Plaid on its own must be handled delicately, and worn only sparingly or ironically (ex., stereotypical lumberjack hipster, aka SLH). Or on a golf course. When mixed with a pastel color palette, plaid loses all irony and becomes classically “preppy” or in other words, just plain ugly in way that can’t be made cool even by the dirtiest and suavest of hipsters. Did the Easter Bunny take a dump all over this season’s fabric swatches? Eww soooo pink.

These shorts are appropriate if you’re going to the Yacht Club Regatta Picnic. In the late 80s. These don’t bode well either:

Gingham + high waist + shiny thin pleather belt = Yowza! Did someone say, “Sex appeal”?! Oh, no, they said, “Career woman going to the summer PTA meeting. In the late 80s,” or “Hey kids! The Hamburger Helper is ready!” And these are not the good, “American Apparel” 80s. These are the Kmart, Dress Barn, 80s and frankly, I’m scared. What’s next? Culottes? Skorts?!

June 10, 2008 at 5:58 pm 3 comments

Googly-Eyes on Flickr!