Jennifer’s Body

September 23, 2009 at 11:18 am 5 comments

So I just saw Jennifer’s Body last night and I’m not really sure how I feel about it. I’m glad I saw it in a the theater, despite the fact that it was mostly empty, because you really need the shouting commentary of total strangers to emphasize the terrible/hilarious moments in the film.

For instance, when Megan Fox and Amanda Seyfried have an inconsequential and fairly drawn-out makeout scene, at least one person shouted out, “She gay! She gay!” in a genuinely shocked and horrified voice. I’m pretty sure the only point of this scene was to make up for the fact that Megan Fox’s boobs are noticeably absent from the film, probably because she’s such a respectable actress who wants to be taken seriously for her acting skills and not her good looks and hot body, even though she is the titular character in a film called “Jennifer’s Body”.

So far she’s done a really great job of playing a self-absorbed, sort-of bitchy hot girl, and that takes talent. And I mean I heard Michael Bay has everyone audition by washing his car. I think that’s how Shia LaBoeuf got the role in Transformers too. That’s legit, right?

I guess at the core, this movie is supposed to be about teenage girls and the complexity of friendships between them. I know that because it was beaten into my head ad nauseum by the excessive voice-over. OMG these girls are like BFF even though one is a total bitch before she turns in a demon and the other one is really nice and well-adjusted. Get it!? It’s so deep!

Anyhoo, my major qualm with the movie was that it was really uneven. It wasn’t funny and over-the-top enough to be campy, and it wasn’t gory and violent enough to be scary. It was trying to drive on this middle ground between the two (taking both angles too seriously) and the whole thing felt a bit flat and predictable. Admittedly, there are some sincerely scary moments and some really hilarious moments, but they didn’t seem to really work together Evil Dead-style as they should have. Add to all that Diablo Cody’s fairly tired dialogue (“Hey Monistat!” whoa, edgy!) and simple characters and the movie wasn’t exactly giving me a “wetty.” Let’s just say it was no Heathers.

And don’t try calling me a hater. I went in wanting to like it, and truth be told, it was an entertaining and enjoyable theater-going experience. I just don’t think I’m getting all the deep meaning that some critics are pulling from the film or that it should be taken as much more than simple fun.


Entry filed under: Alison, Aspect Fellatio. Tags: , , .

My Manicurist Doesn’t Speak English Patrick Fugit

5 Comments Add your own

  • 1. parkrangerolivia  |  September 23, 2009 at 2:13 pm

    did you really just use “wetty” in a sentence? now i’m going to have to eat your boyfriend.

    i was on the fence about seeing this, but your review just pushed me off. i think shaun of the dead has ruined all “traumedies” for me by setting the bar so high. nice try, diablo. next time, call simon pegg.

  • 2. alisaurus  |  September 23, 2009 at 4:01 pm

    “Wetty” was a phrase from the movie, so thank Diablo Cody for that one. I’m sure guys in bars are already using it like it’s their job. And yeah, it’s definitely no Shaun of the Dead.
    If you do decide to see it, gather up some friends, have a few drinks, and definitely see it in the theater.

  • 3. parkrangerolivia  |  September 23, 2009 at 5:45 pm

    jesus, alison. you know the cinematic apocalypse is nigh when you have to begin every caveat with “just make sure you drink heavily beforehand…”

  • 4. neekaps  |  September 27, 2009 at 8:18 pm

    Hear what she says about her vagina?
    That its powerful and that men are terrified of powerful vaginas.

    You guys should read the book “Haters”.

  • 5. seph  |  October 6, 2009 at 4:55 am

    For instance, when Megan Fox and Amanda Seyfried have an inconsequential and fairly drawn-out makeout scene, at least one person shouted out, “She gay! She gay!” in a genuinely shocked and horrified voice.

    I wish the movie theaters I go to were like the movie theaters you go to.


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