Skins, “Series” 3

January 27, 2009 at 11:42 pm 2 comments

First, an announcement: Skins is now on iTunes people. Our lifelong (cough*two-year*cough) dream of Skins coming to America has officially come true. You can buy “Series'” (what we refer to as a “Season”) 1 and 2 on iTunes and wallow in the dirty British teendom of this show. So what if you’re (I’m) 22!? At least it’s not Gossip Girl. This is your chance to revel in Dev Patel’s pre-Slumdog-fame crustache, and ogle the kid from About A Boy. Don’t take that chance for granted.


Moving on, I am now “live-blogging” episode 1 of Series 3 of the show, which features an entirely new cast from the first two seasons. I put live-blogging in quotes because obviously the show came and went “live” already and I’m watching it on Sidereel, but here are my impressions as they come.

Firstly, I don’t like this kid on the skateboard. He’s like fucking Bart Simpson meets Williamsburg hipster. Quirky plaid fedora? Pete Wentz look-a-like? Sparks coming from the tail of his skateboard? C’mon. So modern-day Bart Simpson meets up with his two mates, who are sitting at a cafe table in broad, open daylight, drinking pints of beer and smoking the biggest joint to ever be on television, before their first day of “college” (high school).

What teenagers have time to drink pints before school? I could barely get my ass out of bed in time for homeroom. And ooh, isn’t this just so badass and deep of their characters to be such rebels? One kid with a nasty euro-mullet chugs the two pints himself while saying a bunch of unintelligible nonsense.

The third kid with weird hair and braces is supposed to be a nerdy child genius or something, as he sits there and rambles off facts and figures about the nutritional contents of beer. Whoa, a smart kid who’s breaking the rules? Talk about character development. 

And now a familiar face: Tony Stonem’s dad makes an entrance by crashing his car into a barrier near the delinquent kids after running over a bike in the middle of the street. He jumps out screaming and cursing (ah like the old days), while Effy sits in the passenger seat and coolly smokes a cigarette. Isn’t she like 15? She’s smoking in the car with her Dad? Shouldn’t her face be plastered on the dashboard after that collision? So far this whole episode smacks of forced coollness that is completely anti-impressive. She gives Pete Wentz/Bart Simpson the sexy “come-hither” look through her fag smoke, and he ogles back at her while discussing with his mates.

Eight minutes in and the only likable character is Mr. Stonem because he’s a crazy old man who curses constantly with a British accent. So far everyone else is a hackneyed depiction of teen cool that’s as transparent as plain Jell-o.

Next we meet a set of twins, Emily and Katie. One is kind of a slutty bitch, Katie, and the other, slightly cuter one, Emily, seems to always be getting shafted. The show is known for pushing the envelope in terms of nudity and language, but seeing the one girl in just her panties from behind was a little creepy, considering they’re supposed to be like 15?  The girls get picked up by the slutty twin’s boyfriend, who looks like he’s about 27, and proceeds to stick his hand up the girl’s skirt while driving. Gross, but probably not all that far off from real life.

The twinny twins walk up to the school, and slut girl gushes about her loser old boyfriend to a bunch of cheerleaders or something. Miss Thang Effy watched the whole affair and is clearly taking interest in one of the twins, but we don’t know for what. 

Now the kids are sitting in the auditorium for their first day assembly. Next character introduced is a blonde girl who is apparently named Naomi Campbell, and so far seems like the most sympathetic of the bunch. We don’t know much about her yet but it seems like people give her a lot of shit that she doesn’t really deserve. During the assembly, euro-mullet kid, named James Cook, offers to show her his tattoo, at which point he is instructed to show the entire auditorium the tattoo which is on his dick. Hahah. Funny. Then the assistant principal farts into a megaphone. What the hell is this!?

At this point I’ve decided that Pete Wentz-kid, named Freddie, actually looks like a perfect blend of Maxxie and Anwar from Series 1 & 2. Mullet-boy gets a good thrashing from the female headmaster, and then is back on his way. The three main guys walk down the hall of the school, then nearly crap themselves when they turn a corner and the hall is full of girls. What the hell? Have these kids never seen girls before? Then they see Effy, who is wearing what appears to be a smock over some panties and fishnets with her ass completely visible, bending over a vending machine. The three dudes stare at her ass and argue over who “gets her,” because she’s obviously a piece of property.

Since this is getting ridiculous and this fucking show is over 45 minutes long, I’m going to cut it off here. I’m halfway through, and thus far Series 3 is totally missing the likable characters and charm of the first two series, and instead is full of cliches and Juno-esque portrayals of what everyone thinks is cool or wishes they were like. Or maybe Series 1 & 2 was so good and had enough shock value that this episode and these characters are just totally predictable, unrealistic,  and underwhelming. Watch the episode for yourself  here.


Entry filed under: Miscellaneous Musings.

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2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. parkrangerolivia  |  January 28, 2009 at 9:38 pm

    you’re spoiling it!!

  • 2. Olivia  |  February 4, 2009 at 5:02 pm

    oh man, after just watching it, it was so so forced. why is everything so hyper cool? it’s only the first episode yet they’re already reaching. ugh…


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