So Stupid It’s Offensive

January 25, 2009 at 8:28 am 7 comments

Oreo Cakesters: What the fuck were you thinking? In creating this new version through the whole 100 calorie pack craze, Oreo Cakesters have not only lost the integrity of their product, but of their entire marketing plan. How? By treating women like fucking retards, that’s how. 

First of all, what the fuck? Do you seriously think women will go batshit over this mediocre product? Have any of you even eaten an oreo 100 calorie pack? They are unremarkable. They’re like cinnamon toast crunch flakes with cocoa powder. I could make this by dunking a fucking ritz cracker into hot cocoa mix, you Nabisco sonofabitches. But that’s not even the worst part. Look at these women scream! You’d think there was a sale on fat-free yogurt, or reduced shoes!…Wait. No, they’re screaming like their husband has just come home before being stop-lossed to Iraq again. Their enthusiasm is disproportionate to the product. Maybe if this truck had the solution to this fucked up economy, their cut-aways would look more relevant.

Observe the woman who puts down a huge pretzel and lemonade to go run after the truck. Why are you so desperate to eat diet food when you’re clearly enjoying your pretzel? I know, I know, it’s to show how much more appealing the cakester is, but seriously, pretzel > 100 calorie pack. It’s a no brainer. 

The most offensive thing about this ad is that they make women look like a screaming bunch of imbeciles as they lose their dignity over a crappy product. Never do I see male commercials where they’re plowing over each other trying to get the new Mach-7 -Power-Razor truck. No way would they make them look this uncivilized and immature. Maybe this poorly informed, mediocre ad agency thought that by appealing to womens’ girlish nature they would hit their demographics’ hearts, but really, it just makes me want to vomit. 

Plus, everyone knows, 100 calorie packs don’t work. Look at the fucking stats, Nabisco. Instead of buying an unnecessary product, quench your craving by savoring one (just one!) oreo cakester. But then again, the whole philosophy of “Just Eat Less Food, Duh” is hardly beneficial to the weight loss industry.

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Entry filed under: I Saw It On TV, Olivia. Tags: , , , , , , .

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7 Comments Add your own

  • 1. alisaurus  |  January 25, 2009 at 12:13 pm

    Hahaha I see your point, and you’re right, but I just love how enraged you are over Oreo Cakesters. Damn them!! Damn them and their attempts to be like Whoopie PIes or ice cream sandwiches and failing miserably!! Damn you for sucking, Oreo cakesters, when regular Oreos are so delicious!
    I wish there was a commercial for diet products that featured fat-ass football-watching men for once, instead of totally normal-looking women who, for some reason, just can’t fucking wait to diet.

    Reply
  • 2. Betty  |  January 25, 2009 at 1:04 pm

    I’m totally with you. That commercial makes me cringe, and ‘cakesters’ doesn’t sound like anything I’d want to eat under any circumstances.

    They’re going after the perceived Sex & The City Demographic, women who go crazy over Manolos or whatever, and picture women watching this ad and laughing with their friends, “Hah! We really ARE that irrational! It’s just like last week when I pulled your hair out because you got the last ticket to see Bride Wars!” We need more Sarah Haskinses in advertising.

    Reply
  • 3. neekaps  |  January 25, 2009 at 6:17 pm

    now this is a real commerical:

    Reply
  • 4. miranda  |  January 25, 2009 at 10:22 pm

    cakesters HURT to eat. my teeth, my belly and my self-esteem.

    Reply
  • 5. parkrangerolivia  |  January 25, 2009 at 10:31 pm

    It wasn’t the cakesters I minded so much as their shitty, ineffective substitute. i’m pissed off because they give women a bad rep, AND don’t do any good.

    Reply
  • 6. anonymous  |  February 8, 2009 at 8:48 am

    have you ever talked to a woman? most of them are pretty retarded

    Reply
  • 7. Betty  |  February 8, 2009 at 3:47 pm

    Actually anonymous makes a good point. I’m just smashing my face into my keyboard right now; it’s a miracle any of you can understand me.

    Reply

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