True Confessions: “Single Ladies” by Beyonce

November 20, 2008 at 11:36 pm 14 comments

I am kind of a snob when it comes to music, and usually I find Beyonce pretty dull, and it seems like she takes herself far too seriously.  I’m probably never going to see Dreamgirls, and her ballads are all really derivative and thin.  Even so, I kind of love everything about this single.  I love the simple, addictive hooks, the spasmodic choreography which resembles Jazzercise from hell, and oh god I love her bionic hand.  I love the deep, ominous chords in the background, and the clicky percussion.  I love that she seems to genuinely have multiple personality disorder, and that she is insisting you “put a ring on it” even though she doesn’t wear a ring despite her “secret” marriage to Jay-Z.  I love the starkness of the video, with the lighting changing multiple times in a single shot, the camera swooping around the dancers.  So, fine.  You win this round, Beyonce.  But I’m not going to forgive you if this song is still stuck in my head two weeks from now.


Entry filed under: Aspect Fellatio, Betty. Tags: , , , .

The Beginning of the First Day of the Worst Day of My Life!

14 Comments Add your own

  • 1. alisaurus  |  November 20, 2008 at 11:59 pm

    i hate this song and video so much!! i have never felt so violently threatened by a woman’s crotch before, and yes, jazzercise from hell is the perfect way of describing this dance. in the words of dave chappelle, “girl that crazy dancin’ makes my penis sore!” in a BAD way.
    this, however, is genius: .

    i don’t know how you could not like the rihanna song and video, and love this one! betty, i don’t even know you anymore!

  • 2. parkrangerolivia  |  November 21, 2008 at 2:39 am

    that was SICK dancing. she’s totally going to get the choreography mtv award.

  • 3. Miranda  |  November 21, 2008 at 2:51 am

    I really like this.

  • 4. The Silly Addiction  |  November 21, 2008 at 3:14 am

    I was determined to hate this song, but yeah, the dark synths in the background are a great counterpoint to the repetitive melody line. I’m not sure about the constant broken windscreen wiper though.

  • 5. Betty  |  November 21, 2008 at 1:46 pm

    I can’t stand Rihanna because she just sings atonally over loops from ’80s pop songs, and she’s irritating. At least this video is fun! And if you want to talk threatening crotches, you need to see Madonna’s “Hung Up”:

    I do think the choreography is demented, but it’s also fun in a way that makes me want to learn it all. Alison, that video you posted totally reinforces my need to dance spasmodically around my living room.

  • 6. Andrew Bailey  |  November 22, 2008 at 9:54 pm

    You guys didn’t see because you weren’t there….OLIVIA…but Betty did this dance for everyone at Dan’s b-day bash wearing only a tube top and some jazzy pants. It made Katrina and my nature rise. Indeed Alisaurus, you must seriously re-evaluate your knowledge of all things Betty.

    p.s. everything that i just said was a complete and utter lie, but in happened in my mind and that’s what matters.

  • 7. parkrangerolivia  |  November 23, 2008 at 2:24 am

    What? you couldn’t even re-create my existence in your mind? THANKS. you never invite me to your cranial parties, bailey!

  • 8. Andrew Bailey  |  November 24, 2008 at 1:20 am

    shit, i didn’t even realize that little hole in my story.
    touche Olivia, touche…
    I’m too lazy to find the Alt Code for the accented e in touche as I am laying down with my laptop on my chest like a true lazy ass.

  • 9. Andrew Bailey  |  November 24, 2008 at 1:22 am

    touche Olivia mon ami, lets go eat some quiche and be naive about creme bruele.

  • 10. Betty  |  November 24, 2008 at 1:32 am

    It’s suitable because I didn’t bother putting an accent over the E in Beyonce, anyway. It is a THEMÉ! (It’s option+e by the way)

  • 11. neekaps  |  November 25, 2008 at 11:11 am

    Dream girls is actually a pretty decent movie. I think it got some editing awards too.

  • 12. neekaps  |  November 26, 2008 at 11:10 am

    I was just looking at all your references. The thing about the Madonna video is that she’s also stealing from other people like Miss Prissy. She totally is stealing from Miss Prissy to make herself seem like a better dancer.
    All of these videos are kind of weird.
    At first I thought there were three Beyonces dancing. I mean they’re entertaining but they’re just kind of stupid. But what these three women have in common is that they all have amazing legs. especially Madonna.
    And why is the crotch shot threatening?

    Rihanna, beyonce, madonna.
    cute thighs, womanly thighs, muscular thighs.

  • 13. Betty  |  November 26, 2008 at 3:19 pm

    Yeah, I don’t think the Madonna video is that great- she’s not a great dancer, but the other people in the video sort of make up for it. The crotch thing is weird because honestly I don’t want to see THAT much of another lady’s vagina, ever. Nothing personal against madonna, I just don’t want to be contemplating her bikini wax while watching a music video.

    I love the Beyonce video because they’re gambling on the fact that the choreography is unique and interesting enough to keep the viewer interested- no set, no fancy costumes, just high contrast lighting, straight up crazy dancing, and a bionic glove. I think it accomplishes that.

  • […] new ground? Yeah yeah, Sarah Palin’s preggo daughter is among the worst and the video for “Single Ladies” is among the best. Tell me something I don’t know. I’ve decided this year, instead of […]


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