Lady Product Review: The “Keeper”

October 23, 2008 at 10:38 pm 9 comments


The Keeper is a menstrual cup you put in your vagina, in case you didn’t know. Guys can probably stop reading here.

First impressions: I don’t really like the name. I am immediately reminded of Trapper Keeper binders which were notorious for pinching fingers, and for some dubious reason, were banned at my elementary school. Not exactly the image of something I would want lurking around my lady parts… Also somewhat disconcerting? This thing comes in two different sizes, one for women who have given birth vaginally or are over 30, and one for women who haven’t and are under 30. A reminder of the sobering fact that having kids and getting old will mess up your junk. After getting over the unfortunate name of this product, helped in part by the mild-mannered, aesthetically-pleasing packaging (I bought it from Whole Foods), I opened up the box to check it out…. brace yourselves.

Beautiful isn’t it?

First impressions of how this thing looks: ew. Does it have to be brown?? I guess it’s brown because it’s made of “natural gum rubber (latex)” and presumably has no added colors. I have to say, it looks pretty nasty though, like something that might be used for plumbing, which, I guess it sort of is…. But anyway, tampon companies have a leg up on this thing because they make their tampons (the paper packaging anyway) in fun bright colors. Who doesn’t want to advertise their flow with fun party colors?? I know I do. Suggestion number one to the makers of The Keeper: any color is better than brown. Seriously. Any color. Taupe, mauve, anything. Also, it’s a bit bigger than I expected, but I guess we all need to face reality at some point or another. The whole thought of shoving this not-so-small rubber cup up my va-jay-jay and collecting the blood which I would ultimately get the joy of emptying later wasn’t exactly appealing, but then again, tampons aren’t exactly a walk in the park either. Everyone who uses this thing raves about it, so I figured they must be on to something.

Let me back up here a little bit. This beautiful eraser-y, plunger-y looking little thing costs $35. That’s kind of a lot for a piece of rubber, even though in the end, I guess it pays for itself by saving you lots of money on tampons and pads. I probably wouldn’t go out of my way to make a $35 investment in my period, and in fact inherited this Keeper from a friend’s color sync, for which it was a prop. I had actually never heard of The Keeper before he asked me to buy one for the film, and was only familiar with the Bust favorite product, The Diva Cup which is pretty much the same thing. This Keeper was never used, so rest-assured, it doesn’t qualify as secondhand. So I decided to keep it, and once my period arrived, what the hell, give it a try.

Today is day 1, and I must say, I am impressed. Putting it in wasn’t nearly as difficult as I thought it might be, and while it took me a minute or two to get it adjusted perfectly, I could barely feel it. Throughout the day I was afraid it was leaking, and went to the bathroom regularly to check, and much to my shock and surprise, no leakage had occurred! (A problem I often encountered with tampons on the first day or two of my period.)  So after one day, I am sold on this thing. Easy to use, no need to buy tampons, eco-friendly, no leakage, and it can be worn for up to 12 hours without being “emptied” (even overnight!) I know everyone is just enthralled to hear about my period in detail, but writing this blog was the only thing I had to look forward to today after holding in my urge to play the game, “Guess what’s in my vagina?” with everyone that passed my desk. You knew what you were getting into when you clicked “read more” and I hope I didn’t disappoint. 

So my review boils down to this: as a practical product, The Keeper is pretty great. Aesthetically, it needs some work. Had I known that this product would be the most upsetting shade of brown, I would’ve bought it’s latex-free friend, The Moon Cup (made by the same company) which is clear and made of medical grade silicone. Or, had it been available, I would’ve chosen the widely-touted Diva Cup to cater to my inner Mariah Carey (aka, my uterus.) Since I got this one for free, I would definitely consider purchasing another one myself, preferably made of silicone the second time around. Girls, I say give it a try, and never be caught without a tampon again.


Entry filed under: Alison, Sex Sex Sex. Tags: , , , .

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9 Comments Add your own

  • 1. parkrangerolivia  |  October 23, 2008 at 11:03 pm

    wow, you really go deep in there with your articles alison.

  • 2. Betty  |  October 23, 2008 at 11:24 pm

    I’ve read about these before, and I have one question I’ve never seen answered- what do you do if you’re in a public restroom? Dash out to the sink, rinse it out, and dash back into the stall?? My job now has private bathrooms so it’s not an issue, but that seems like a terrible situation to be caught in.

  • 3. alisaurus  |  October 23, 2008 at 11:56 pm

    olivia, well-behaved women who don’t overshare and talk about their period to anyone who will listen rarely make history. or at least i think that’s the quote….
    in response to question #2, you can keep it in for 12 hours at a time, so most people can probably last their whole day of work without worrying about it (that’s what i did.) but i asked this question on a forum and most people recommended taking a bottle of water into the stall or a wet paper towel to clean it up. i intend to do my best to just wait it out for a private bathroom.

  • 4. Miranda  |  October 24, 2008 at 8:36 pm

    Betty, what I do is not empty it til I get home. Honestly, I dump it out in the shower, which is sort of gross I guess but I am of the school that you can do ANYTHING in the shower because it all washes away immediately. I always pee in the shower because it’s fun. So yeah maybe you’re less into that but I think it’s less gross than washing your hands, pulling it out, dumping it in the toilet, rinsing it, then washing your hands AGAIN.

    Once on a day of long flights and stuff I had to do an emergency empty. I just dumped it in the toilet and then peed on it since pee’s sterile right when it comes out of you. I was well-hydrated so it wasn’t too terrible. Then I washed my hands real good and voila. But I am kind of a disgusting hippie in matters of personal hygenie (due more to laziness than feminism).

    I love my cup thing. Because I hate buying tampons. You have to adjust it after you poop though. Don’t forget that.

    Oh also Alison? Your blood is gonna stain that thing a slightly darker-brown anyway. So I think if you had like, a cute yellow one or something, it would look really nasty after a month or two of sitting with blood clots in it.


  • 5. Betty  |  October 25, 2008 at 2:31 am

    I finally caved to the joys of shower-peeing in the past couple years, because it saves at least a minute or two in the morning, and that is sometimes all the difference between being exactly on time for work and missing the train and being fifteen minutes late. I think next time I’m downtown I’m going to stop and Whole Foods and definitely jump on this bandwagon.

  • 6. alisaurus  |  October 25, 2008 at 11:47 am

    i’d advise getting the moon cup, if only because it’s more attractive-looking. and make sure you buy the right size, because it comes in two different ones. (if they haven’t got exactly what you want in the store, you can buy online too, probably for cheaper.)

  • 7. Miranda  |  October 26, 2008 at 7:38 pm

    I think the Moon Cup is thinner too. I don’t know if it lasts as long or whatever but I think they say the Keeper is supposed to last like 30 years anyway. I’ve had mine for 4 years now, I bought it directly off their amazing animated-gif tripod web site back in the day. And it’s still goin’ strong.

  • 8. neekaps  |  October 29, 2008 at 7:13 pm

    what a pleasure to read this.
    made me laugh.

    I hate how expensive tampons are.

  • 9. alisaurus  |  October 30, 2008 at 1:05 pm

    get the keeper or a similar product. its totally worth it. and yea, tampons are kind of a rip-off.


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