Britney Spears’ “Womanizer”: Sheer Poetry

This morning I had the opportunity to view Britney Spears’ latest music video for the song “Womanizer”, so of course, at the risk of burning out my retinas like that time when I watched the uncensored version of “Gimme More,” I just had to watch it. While I’m thrilled that she seems to have returned to normalcy after what seemed like years of bizarro behavior caused by a combination of mental illness and Cheetos, her latest video, is uh… Well it’s Britney, to say the least.

The song is called “Womanizer” and from what I can gather from the unintelligible and incoherent lyrics, it’s about a man who is a womanizer and how the narrator (singer? protagonist? whatever) is too smart to fall for his womanizing ways. How do I know this? From the chorus! Britney repeats the word “womanizer” about 150 times, and the rest of the lyrics go something like, “Boy don’t try to front, I-I know just-just what you are,” followed by “womanizer, womanizer, womanizer… womanizer. Womanizer!” The word loses all meaning within the first 30 seconds of the song. In addition to the words being completely vapid and senseless, the song itself isn’t the typically entrancing Britney pop that excuses poor lyrics and flimsy concepts. 

The video…. sigh. Well the video is basically the video for “Toxic,” except instead of being a spy, in this video Britney is like, a seductress in many uniforms. Or something. The video opens with her completely naked writhing around in a sauna. Then the “plot” is basically this: Britney is dressed in several slutty “sexy” outfits and wigs, each a different character, and in different scenes she seduces but rejects the man in the video, who is obviously a womanizing piece of scum. But really, his expressions and behavior don’t indicate that he’s a womanizer at all, he’s simply a man that is being sexually harassed by women in really revealing clothing. What is the message here? If you look at women who are trying way too hard to get your attention, then you’re a chauvinist, womanizing pig? Because the message I got was this: stay the hell away from Britney Spears, because she is a tease.

This song and video is on the same level as a stripper complaining that men stare at her all day when she’s merely trying to express herself through the art of dance. C’mon, you’re there because men are perverts who like to look at your goodies, and lucky enough for you, they’re willing to pay for it and support your lavish lifestyle (not that there’s anything wrong with that). If men are womanizers, Britney Spears should be thanking them for making her career what it is, not acting like some kind of Gloria Steinem on the path of women’s rights for making the shocking revelation that, gasp! men are objectifying women! Thanks, I hadn’t noticed, I needed a clever Britney Spears song and video to open my eyes to the injustices of gender inequality.

And I don’t mean that Britney shouldn’t be enlightened and a feminist, it’s just that you can’t really trash men for being womanizers when you’re using sex to sell yourself. That’s what we call a… hypocrite, I believe, is the word. By using her body and sexuality to promote herself and make money (from men) isn’t Britney Spears sort of a womanizer? Unless she’s being sexy as a way to own her sexuality and empower herself. Oh Britney, what a complex enigma you are! It’s just as good as teaching people how wrong violence is by beating the shit out of them. Until she puts on an unflattering Hilary pantsuit, I’m afraid I won’t be able to take any of her pop songs seriously. She’s about as qualified to speak on behalf of women as Sarah Palin, so until John McCain chooses Britney to be his running mate (McCain/Spears 2012!) get in line, sister. I can only listen to one crazy bitch at a time.

…Vote Obama!

 

ADDED: My favorite part of this song is the bridge where she sings, “Maybe if we both lived in another world/It would be all good and I could be your girl/But we don’t so I can’t.” What the fuck? What other world? One where it’s acceptable for women to not respect themselves and be a man’s subordinate? I believe there is a world like that, and it’s called Almost Every Third World Country.