How to Inject a Music Video With Meaning (cheap!)

I’ve seen it happen one too many times. A bunch of spoiled and bratty band members, probably sitting around some mahogany board room desk, fiddling with the levers on their leather rolly chairs. They stop spinning for a minute to get to the task at hand: Their next music video.

“Dudes, I like, want this video to be real man. Raw.”
“Yeah brosef, how can we like, show the world how serious we are? Like, we’re… serious musicians!”

Enter War Footage/Music Video.

Cheaper than having an actual plot or concept to your short film, archival footage has long been used (and abused), as a way to spice up a simple performance video for many bands currently out there. Here’s the breakdown:
First, you film the band playing the song. Over. And over. And over again, but from a different angle! Like an MTV interview, this shit must be filmed from every conceivable point of view. This allows you to fake variety without spending too much of the record label’s cash.

Then, the band leaves. That’s right. In a performance video, all the band has to do is, well, perform. That’s another incentive to make a War Footage video: the band pretty much does nothing.

Finally, the editors and director sift through thousands and thousands of controversial clips that show the American Struggle. War footage such as soldiers being led away on stretchers, military funerals, and crying parents lay the foundation for this heavy handed flick. What? You don’t like the video? Clearly, you’re un-American, you fucking terrorist. That’s what you are now. A terrorist.

Does Kid Rock even know what country this is? Or continent, for that matter?

Of course, we don’t have to limit the footage just to war. A lot can be said with stills of peaceful protestors being assaulted, hungry third world children, and America’s poor. What? You don’t like this either? Well that’s because you’re an anti-freedom facist, clearly.

Linkin Park: Strong Opponents of Elephant Poaching, but great supporters of pretentious douchebaggery.

Yeah, but YOU don't Daughtry. In fact, you probably live in LA. So leave your bold font and fuck off to your condo.

 

What I think really irks me about all of these archival-abusing videos is that the bands think they are “saying something” to their audience. It’s unfortunate, because many of these proponents don’t really set an example in the appropriate arenas. Where is Linkin Park at the Democratic Convention? Kid Rock, shit man, do you even vote? And don’t get me started on Daughtry. That is the most pretentious powerpoint presentation I have seen in a long time. If the artist is so concerned with the issues that are presented in their music videos, then why won’t they advocate these causes in places other than VH1?

I think, however, that the video that takes the cake is, hands down, Three Doors Down “Citizen Soldier”. Not only is this band hugely crappy, but they sold out in equally gigantic proportions. Deciding to sign with the fucking US Coast Guard, they were one of the first bands to turn their music video not just into a commercial for themselves as artists, but for another beast entirely.

I’m not even going to bother linking these pieces of moving filth. 

Stay tuned for next week’s breakdown of stereotypical action trailers!