Whiskey Tango Foxtrot: Maxim Magazine

August 22, 2008 at 4:00 pm 8 comments

Now, I know what to expect from this magazine.  It’s intentionally juvenile, reducing women to their bodies and dumbing down fake news for frat boys and sweaty nerds alike.  And you know what?  It’s not even that bad all the time.  It’s occasionally funny or informative, even if it’s generally without substance.  All told, I’m pretty indifferent to the magazine, which is why I started flipping through it when I found the most recent issue on the coffee table at work.  That’s when I stumbled upon this charming sidebar comment about Top Chef host and Salman Rushdie spouse Padma Lakshmi:

“The superhot Top Chef host has the best of Heidi Klum’s body and the worst of Seal’s face– and somehow makes it all work!”

If you recall, Lakshmi is this stunningly gorgeous babe who happens to have a long scar on her arm, as well as the balls to not worry about covering it up with sleeves or makeup.  Maxim treats this as some horrible deformity, which they, generously, manage to overlook!  Oh my god, she’s still attractive, even though she isn’t completely airbrushed!  We are astonished!

Aside from that, what’s their problem with Seal?  He had that song on the Batman Forever soundtrack, and… uh… I don’t actually know what else he’s done.  He seems like a stable, intelligent guy, though, and they’re acting as though he’s some circus freak.

It really bothers me that when writing about a beautiful, intelligent woman, the editors feel the need to pick on her for something so superficial, as if to knock her down a few notches.  It only confirms in my mind that the people who write for Maxim are the same guys who wonder endlessly why girls never end up with “nice guys”.  Here’s a hint, fellas.  It’s because you’re shallow, malignant cankerblossoms who feed on death and sadness.  Or maybe you just smell bad.

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Entry filed under: Betty, Miscellaneous Musings. Tags: , , , .

Justin Theroux A Very Googly Workout

8 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Ryan  |  August 22, 2008 at 4:32 pm

    The ‘Band A + Band B = Band C!” approach just doesn’t work with a human being. Or with bands, for that matter. Although – what do they say about the scar? You’ve mentioned it but not quoted it, so now I’m curious…

    Reply
  • 2. Betty  |  August 22, 2008 at 4:46 pm

    Ah, well the Seal comment is the scar comment- his defining feature is a dramatic scar across his face:

    So they’re being dicks about Seal’s face, because it is clearly the worst thing ever, and then equating it to Padma’s scar. “The worst of Seal’s face”, like she’s somehow grotesque.

    Reply
  • 3. Ryan  |  August 22, 2008 at 4:58 pm

    I clearly need to brush up on my knowledge of Seal.

    Reply
  • 4. parkrangerolivia  |  August 22, 2008 at 6:17 pm

    CANKERBLOSSOM!

    Reply
  • 5. alisaurus  |  August 23, 2008 at 10:32 am

    Your last two sentences were pure poetry. And you’re right, that’s bullshit. “The worst of Seal’s face?” WTF. That’s just a poor comparison entirely, it makes it sound like she’s got a face like Seal. And nevermind the fact that she’s also worldly, intelligent, well-spoken and a good cook. She’s got a SCAR, people.

    Reply
  • 6. neekaps  |  August 24, 2008 at 1:07 am

    I think Padma looks more like Edward Scissors hands in the above photo than Seal.

    Seal, kissed by a rose, classic song.

    Reply
  • 7. neekaps  |  August 24, 2008 at 1:08 am

    I just to prank call my science teacher from school and play kissed by a rose.

    Reply
  • 8. parkrangerolivia  |  August 25, 2008 at 9:03 am

    you should do it, and record it for us!

    Reply

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