Things to Do This Friday Since the Sex & The City Premiere is Sold Out

May 28, 2008 at 7:58 pm 5 comments

OMG! So you totally wanted to go see your favorite whoresome foursome, Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and that brunette who is just dying for a baby, vamp around Manhattan and have careless sex with fabulous hats on, but the premiere is sold out! What’s a girl to do! Well, here are some suggestions of activities that might make you feel better about not having someone else’s sex life to talk about with your gal pals on Saturday morning:

– Vamp around Manhattan and have careless sex with a fabulous hat on

– Buy hundreds of pairs of shoes

– Disrespect the valet, or any other lowly service employee

– Paint your Pomeranian’s toenails the same color as your vagina

– Start therapy

– Come up with cute nicknames for your private parts in the vein of The Papaya, Snugglepuss, Mrs. Jones, or The Great White Nightmare

– Get your fix of bitchy women by watching re-run marathons of “The Real Housewives of New York City” on Bravo and hanging out at Urban Outfitters

– Have sex with the valet, or any other lowly service employee

– Sort out your drawer of thongs and fishnets

– Begin research to explain why ugly girls are so mean to you

And if all else fails, you can watch hundreds of hours of Sex and the City on DVD. Don’t get too down girls, you can always go see the movie on Saturday night. Unless of course it’s out of fashion by then.

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Entry filed under: Alison, Aspect Fellatio. Tags: , , , , .

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5 Comments Add your own

  • 1. bettytron  |  May 28, 2008 at 8:29 pm

    This is absolutely fantastic. The Great White Nightmare indeed.

    Reply
  • 2. Tim Cameron  |  May 29, 2008 at 2:24 am

    That was really funny. You should put this on Digg.

    Reply
  • 3. NeeKaps  |  May 29, 2008 at 10:44 pm

    yeah, go to urban outfitters!

    Reply
  • 4. parkrangerolivia  |  May 30, 2008 at 8:30 am

    If you paint your toenails first, does your vagina have to follow suit??

    Reply
  • 5. alisaurus  |  May 30, 2008 at 10:56 am

    oh you aren’t supposed to paint your vagina, just paint your dog’s toenails whatever color it already is. a color that i imagine, in nail polish lingo, might be called “sparkling grapefruit” or something.

    Reply

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