Teeth, There’s Something to Take Home for the Ladies

May 17, 2008 at 10:17 am 3 comments


One of the important things Teeth taught me *as a potentially aspiring writer is that:

Any clever idea can be developed and produced into a movie if enough work and attention and put in to it, and there is no limit to how ridiculous the writing gets as long as it remains supported by the writer and those who read the script.

So, Teeth is about a high school girl who has developed an adaptation in her labia called vagina dentata (which means her vagina has grown teeth). If the guys who like her pull any funny business her vagina will act in her defense.

Teeth is successful because it dares to draw up the kind of innovative and graphic scenes that our sick minds have been hankering to see all along.

And ironically, even though you never see one vagina, you see several dick (chopped up dick).

Which raises this thought: If your dick gets chopped off, do you bleed to death immediately?

It’s rare to find female masturbation scenes in film, but there’s a great one in Teeth that’s even artfully executed.

The main character, Dawn, is lying down in bed thinking about her day at school. She scrolls over images of Toby, the guy in her high school’s abstinence class, who she presumably would like to have sex with. In her masturbating fantasy, she envisions their marriage; he appears next to her bedside with champagne and roses. Her fingers move closer and closer to her vagina. At this time, she is wearing a pearly wedding dress (still in bed). Her own vagina conscious prevents her from masturbating when she shouts “be pure” and stops mid action. Interrupting the fantasy!

Another great scene is when Dawn goes to the gynecologist office to have her vagina dentata checked out. The gynecologist is very creepy. He dashes all of her fears saying that everything is probably perfectly fine Blah blah blah, he ends up fisting her . As it becomes more and more apparent that what he is doing is wrong, her vagina confirms this and bites his fingers off

John Hensely, our favorite character, Matt from Nip/Tuck plays “Brad”, Dawn’s psychotically incestual brother. I can’t begin to tell you how great he is for the role; but I think he’ll continue to be typecast into playing the attention-seeking, crazed freak of a brother, because he’s so perfect for it and probably is like that in real life.

If you like the movie, Saved, you have to watch Teeth. If you consider yourself a feminist, or if you’ve ever been used for sex watch Teeth.

Mitchell Lichtenstein, the writer and the director, who previously was directing kind of no name garbage, will certainly get more work because of Teeth.


Entry filed under: Aspect Fellatio, Katie. Tags: , , .

Jason Schwartzman Operation Space Monkeys

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. bettytron  |  May 18, 2008 at 7:38 pm

    I had heard some pretty good things about this before- now I definitely want to see it.

  • 2. alisaurus  |  May 21, 2008 at 10:05 pm

    just watched this movie last night. it was FUCKED UP.

  • 3. Betty  |  June 11, 2008 at 8:35 pm

    Ok, I just saw this a couple days ago. I thought it was uneven and predictable at times, but it also went back and forth between being really hilarious and really clever. I can definitely see it becoming a cult classic.


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