Betty Might Not Like This

April 29, 2008 at 8:58 pm 8 comments

Today I was in Duane Reade, where I spend most of my disposable time, and came across an interesting product in the haircare aisle. Actually, this was not the first time I had noticed this product, but it was the first time I thought something should be said about it. And lo and behold, I return home to see that Olivia has made a post in a similar topic – bizarre sexual novelty products. Well here it is:

Betty! Color for “hair down there”! Hm. Well. If there’s a more unnecessary and pointless beauty product out there, I haven’t seen it, and so was not surprised to see that it was on sale in the DR.

The only remotely understandable need for this product is that you dye your hair a color very different from your natural shade and are really really committed to the lie. You probably insist your fake boobs are real too. And if this were the case, certainly shades like blue, green and pink are extraneous. I had a friend in high school who dyed her pubes blue in the 9th grade. This same friend pierced her own clit that year too. (I like to think she was the minority). And boy wouldn’t her life have been easier with Betty! No unsightly bleach burns or stray grays.

And imagine this scenario: you’re on the beach, and your bikini bottom goes slightly askew, exposing more than you’d like. It’s embarrassing to show bush on the beach, but imagine if there’s accidental exposure and it’s blue. “What. The. Fuck.” is what you’d think if you saw that. But hey, chances are if you’re showing your vagina off enough to bother dying it, you wouldn’t care if everyone saw it, and you might want to go the extra mile to pretty it up. Ya know, because you’re a huge slut.

Boy dying your pubes sure is fun!

Now with fun holiday shapes! What are we baking cookies?

Flawless gray coverage too!

And that’s another selling point of Betty, gray coverage. I don’t even want to start thinking about everything that’s wrong with that. So, your pubes are gray. And you’re dying them. Presumably because you’re having lots of sex? Adventurous sex most likely… but, your pubes are gray. GOOD GOD. I didn’t even know pubes went gray. I guess it’s like any other hair. I’m no prude, and good for you if you’re an older lady with a sex life, but, ew.

But to be fair, I should probably try a product like this before I dis it. And I must admit, this entry has made me a bit curious. Maybe dying your pubes is like getting your eyebrows waxed, giving you that fresh new feeling. Except you can’t show anybody. Or tell anyone. Because they’ll think you’re a fucking freak.

Mission anyone?

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Entry filed under: Additional Reading, Alison, Sex Sex Sex. Tags: , , , , .

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8 Comments Add your own

  • 1. parkrangerolivia  |  April 29, 2008 at 9:14 pm

    OHMYGAWD.
    what’s next, temporary tattoos? This shit is dank, and not in a good way.

    Reply
  • 2. alisaurus  |  April 29, 2008 at 9:19 pm

    I’m just imagining this is gonna be the new “to-do” at slumber parties.

    Reply
  • 3. carmen21  |  May 9, 2008 at 4:29 am

    i think this is fun…. not for public but for love life….

    Reply
  • 4. bettytron  |  May 9, 2008 at 3:04 pm

    carmen21, you made a typo in your comment. You wrote “fun” where you meant to type “absolutely horrifying”.

    Reply
  • 5. Skip  |  June 7, 2008 at 1:25 am

    hahaha im going to buy it. just for the angel stencil.

    Reply
  • 6. Summer is EXPENSIVE « Googly Eyes  |  June 13, 2008 at 3:32 pm

    […] might ever possibly become visible in a bikini. Adventurous gals may also be dropping cash on some exciting Betty pube dye. (Almost as scary as that Con Ed […]

    Reply
  • 7. Duane Reade Bloody Bitches without brains  |  January 5, 2009 at 5:02 am

    So far we have only met comments about the stupidity of the Duane Reade Stores? How about their managers, corporate folks? I am telling you some conversations of some corporate idiots and their comments….

    -Eleni Trifos: She even doesn’t consider Duane Reade as a company!”They have 250+ locations and a brand promise that is essentially “Always a Wait. Always an Attitude.” She is the pharmacy service manager, but she doesn’t have any understanding about what harassment or bullying is. She may put you in insane category just because of being a favour of an asshole assistant manager and evil team…No matter how they harassed you… Dear Readers: Please read the treatment above and tell me what it is.
    -Put yourself in this situation. “This is YOU”

    You have enough education and evaluation about how a business runs. You were given a job as a cashier. In spite of this job, you are pleasant and did what your job description says. From the begining the assistant manager and her team started to harass you in many ways such as:
    -Your cash register were closed by assistant manager at 11 am and she is sending outside while your schedule finishes at 4:30 pm. You are going outside, because you don’t know how you should deal with her. You are kindly leaving the store. When you come back, she will tell you “how professional is it you went outside before your schedule”.Morever she would send you outside of the store before your schedule finishes.When you say why now, she will say “just listen”
    -Assistant manager put unscanned items to the customer bags you deal with infront of you and when you say hey what are you doing? She is saying “just listen”.
    -There are donations in the store and the top selling cashier will be awarded by some award and recognition. You are the one who were selling only to every individual customer. You are selling at least $50 donation every single day. The assistant manager doesn’t give you donations saying there is no more in the room, a blatant lie. The Cashier calling assistant manager saying Ivy do something. Ivy, assistant manager closed my register in the middle of the day without reason and sending me away from my cash register. You are saying anything.In spite of this, you are the most selling cashier in the district.
    -Assistant Manager is insulting you about your headscarf infront of the customers and co-workers. Also about muslim identity and culture in many ways.
    -Assistant Manager is calling her evil team and then they are coming to your cash register together and telling you to do different things at the same time. You are still saying anything, just thank you. (Ivy, assistant manager in the front desk yelling at you in an animal way, shrielle is saying come here take put these medications in its place, Jahara(cashier) is saying clean here…The other is taking the RX notebook from your hand while you were writing a customer name. These things were happening at the same time, by different people.
    -The shift leader is coming and changing your cash register before your shedule finishes and while you are telling your id is on! Ivy is coming “saying listen” Listen what idiots, you are changing my cash register and giving me no money and messing other cash register while my id on and ordering me to work at a cash register which didn’t work. Then giggling together.
    -You were forced to give a medication which didn’t belong to customer. When you say, this isn’t patient’s name and Ivy will tell you “Just listen and give”
    -A customer will buy an item, without scanning, pharmacy tech Salima will say “just give and you don’t have to scan or payment”. Even so you will say there is no receipt or scanning. How do you expect me to give this to the customer. She will look at you full of hatred. You will call assistant manager. You are the one who called her, she will say “just listen without listening to you”
    -The Pharmacy Tech will want you to give a medication which have two patient names on it and when you “there are two names on it, she will say -listen and just give-
    -Same Pharmacy tech will accuse you of stealing a pharmacist’s purse. When you say what do you mean, they will say “just listen” What the heck treatment is it?
    -You will not be allowed to stand at the front desk, when you say “why” and they will only say listen.
    -Another stupid employee is coming and getting an item cost about “$15” and giving you cover. When you say hey pay and they will only “just listen”
    -You aren’t allowed to take your lunch break and they will tell you “just listen and we will fuck you”
    -The cashier, Jahara(another evil) will swipe her card and doesn’t stand her cash register for 30 min. Will go and chat with Ivy, assistant manager. Evil talking, calling ivy and Ivy is going downstairs. You are the one who is only taking customers.You are still saying anything. Jahara will insult you as calling “idiot or stupid because you are making effort to sell the donations” and Ivy will prevent you to sell, because her ass will be opened. When you say excuse me, but this is part of my job. They will say “just listen”, Listen what! Fucking idiots, I am asking.
    -Pharmacist will ask you to put “yellow stickers of patients name” to put in the garbage. When you say hold on. I was told not to put this outside of the pharmacy or manager room. You are telling me to put in the garbage. Folks, those names maybe your names and you trust these folks and give your ids and insurance information. When you say how come you want me to put these to garbage. They will say “Just Listen”
    -Ivy, assistant manager never ever says anything to somebody who comes cash register late, or dealing customer with saying “shit or bullshit..or asshole” She will never interrupt a cashier while she was talking on the cell-phone. She will never say anything to a cash register who didn’t take care of taking patients’ name openly. However she will treat you in double standard ways and she knows that you do complete job and will order you to do many things not related or never being practised by anybody before such as writing patient name individually in every single even for more than 10 medications. Patients will say “what are you telling us to do like that, we are here for 20 years, never signed our names individually for 15 medications..we only signed 1 signature for 5 medications.” Even though you are nice and kind will say management changed some system. You will do exactly what your assistant manager says…She will still not be satisfied and will continue yelling about your culture infront of the customer.
    -Outside of the store, a pharmacy tech Karmen will come and take your RX notebook from your hand and call another tech Salima “let’s go”. When you say hey “I am writing the name and sticker of the medication on my hand. They will say “just listen and we will fuck you”. Karmen whom I never talked, always looked at you full of hatred, whenever she came to the store, she went to medication wrapping place even if she isn’t working there, she created problem for you.
    -The other cashier will slap door on you, and will say IVY do something. Ivy will work with evil mind again. The other day she will call her friends and they will go to manager room. Then her friends will act as customers and talk out of the air. Stupid unrelated things. When you say “excuse me how can I help you and they will say just listen and yelling for things you have no idea.
    -They made me depressed, I left the store.
    -Many other stupid treatment is available to the report I gave to District Managers.
    -The customers are happy with you, you always smile, come to cash register on time, and leave on time. Plus you can make sure until somebody will appear at the cash cashier before you leave your schedule. You are extremely kind even though this stupid treatment happened to you.

    This had exactly happened to me.
    When I reported, I met an extremely stupid treatment. District Manager accused my muslim identity. Pharmacy Service manager took favour of this assistant manager, made you feel like a stupid. How stupid evaluation of Duane Reade Corporate people have!!!
    I have enough education to tell what they should have done, “Ivy, who was promoted to be as a manager, should have been fired or taken a diciplinary action by pending her status.” These stupid people should have been pending as well.

    I didn’t sue them, at that time I was still nice, because I didn’t want them to lose their jobs as they have family or children.However,I am so regretful about not going further legal action. I hope you understand why store people are so stupid or inconsiderate, because that’s the way how they kept their job, anybody who would like to have improvement will have no place in Duane Reade especially if this person is muslim, having headscarf.
    This is a funny experience I had lived. They are really inconsiderate and ignorant people. Not only stores, but their corporate is full of idiots who don’t take Duane Reade seriously. Folks, there is a new walgreen opened at Times Square and they have many doors accessible to many sides. Go there and feel the difference between Duane Reade and Walgreens. I encourage you to use Walgreen service if you are in this area.

    cashier223
    MBA.MS.MRE

    Reply
  • 8. Duane Reade Bloody Bitches without brains  |  January 5, 2009 at 5:03 am

    A HARASSMENT STORY AND STUPID EVALUATION OF MANAGERS
    Very funny experience I lived in 2007, I reported each incident including date to date in details to District Managers Greg Calvano and Wesam Abdrabouh. Unfortunately they made fun of my situation and made a stupid 10 minutes meeting including Pharmacy Service Manager Eleni Trifos. They even didn’t the report I wrote with specific time and details. Greg Calvano accused my Muslim identity, Eleni Trifos took favor of Ivy and insulted me (wanted me to find a safe work environment in the toilet and saying for this harassment isn’t personal), Wesam Abdrabouh’s approach is very non-sense and unacceptable.He said: “You did this to store, you will do the same thing to your husband”. What the heck, really funny! I can’t believe how their levels are low and ONE WORD BRAINLESS! They wanted me to listen what I shouldn’t do in a job!

    From the moment I started my journey with Duane Reade, as Danny Flamberg said in his opinion
    “Its a study in human frustration watching members of every age group, ethnicity and socio-economic segments act out in reaction to incompetence, condescension and basic stupidity.” Not only in stores, but also in their corporate. Funny! Building manager is making interviews for the candidate, and they have a team work as one day a human resource staff come, another day doesn’t come! This is team work and they get paid. They can discriminate you because of your headscarf no matter you know or how pleasent person you are from the moment you applied for a job. You have to be stupid and any improvement for yourself to be considered in a team.
    I was harassed by the assistant manager Ivy who was working as (at that time) an assistant manager in store #223 located on 42nd St&8th Avenue. Her and her co-worker treatment can be counted as bullying and harassment according to laws. I came to work with my educational credentials and pleasant personality, did what my job description said and even I went beyond the expectations by my punctuality, customer service including selling your donation cards and even my communication is very kind for customers. I met very ugly treatment including verbally abuse, not being able to stand in the front desk, not dealing with customers, forced to give prescription doesn’t belong to a patient, not allowed to sell donations, insulted for being Muslim, culture and wearing my headscarf both in front of the customers and co-workers, accused of stealing pharmacist’s purse, putting unspanned items to my customers’ bag by Ivy, not being allowed to stay at my cash register at my schedule time and Ivy chased me from my cash register at 11 am while my schedule finished at 4:30 pm, the RX notebooks that I was writing the patients name taken from my hand and out to store by Karmen (pharmacy tech who doesn’t work at the store at that time), provoked against my religion by Shrielle many times …harassment outside of the store and many of the details written in the report I sent e-mails and gave the hard copy to district managers. I have enough sight, evaluation and understanding people and those treatment has happened to repeatedly. They even don’t have any patience and no respect to the store they are working.

    When I stood for my rights, they made fun of me, my emotions, dignity and esteem, including my religious belief! They made me depressed in couple months.

    Reply

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